


2) Remain Confident and Unaffected / 3) Keep Your Head Down

by QueenKatelynTheAristocrat



Series: How To Avoid Bullies: A Series [4]
Category: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bullying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friendship, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pre-Canon, Pre-Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Pre-Slash, friendship drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 00:19:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19414534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenKatelynTheAristocrat/pseuds/QueenKatelynTheAristocrat
Summary: "Scorpius had a kind of bravery that was all his own, as well. It was in the way he carried himself: he was prideful, but not arrogant; self-assured, but not blinded; confident, but not pompous."Also known as: Scorpius has a stubborn streak which makes him determined to sit at the front of his favorite class, and Albus does not handle this well.





	2) Remain Confident and Unaffected / 3) Keep Your Head Down

The next few months passed without another incident of such magnitude, but Scorpius and Albus did not allow themselves to relax. They both knew that the moment they let their guard down would be the moment Creevey and his goons would take their revenge, and that revenge was something they wished to delay as long as possible. 

Meanwhile, things with their own year weren’t going much better. For all of September and part of October, Albus had harbored hopes in some back recess of his mind that his cousin Rose would eventually come to her senses and realize that her Gryffindor friends would betray her in a second and only liked her because of the sway the Weasley -- and Granger, for that matter -- name had in Gryffindor history, but that was before he realized the truth. 

Rose knew all of this already, even better than Albus did. And that was why she would never make the first move to fix their relationship: showing any affection for Albus in public would be just the same as lumping herself in with losers, and if she did that her adoring friends would drop her like a rock in the middle of the ocean. And she would sink. 

Not many were brave enough to make a life for themselves at the bottom of the ocean. 

When Albus had realized this, he’d felt sorrow, but he knew he couldn’t allow himself to feel guilty: Rose clearly felt no guilt over the loss of the friendship she’d had with her cousin, and so Albus wouldn’t allow himself to care more than she did. To care for someone who didn’t care for him was to make himself vulnerable to more pain from her, and to risk such a thing was more than foolish: it was naive. 

After this realization hit him, he’d explained it all to Scorpius, who had listened very patiently. But when Albus got to the end of his rant, the understanding smile Scorpius had given him led him to believe that Scorpius had known this all along, and had merely been trying to protect Albus’s feelings by keeping it from him. 

Scorpius was far too kind to say so, though. What he’d said instead was, “Those mighty Gryffindors don’t seem so brave anymore when you think about it that way, now do they?” with an air of superiority and a lack of malice that could only come from the combination of a dozen or so generations of Slytherin blood and the sort of tempering kindness that was all Scorpius. 

Albus had smiled conspiratorially. It was both freeing and inspiring to feel as if someone understood him completely for the first time in his life. He loved his family as fiercely as his Weasley blood dictated, but sometimes they didn’t make any  _ goddamn sense  _ to him, no matter how hard he tried to fit in. 

But Scorpius was different. When Albus’s best friend spoke, it was as if he was explaining the thoughts that Albus had never been able to articulate. Like he was giving life and language to the core of Albus’s worldview. 

It certainly occurred to Albus that some of this may have come from Scorpius’s family -- they were Slytherin as well, after all -- but Albus very much doubted that any Malfoy in history had contained a spirit or intellect that could compete with Scorpius’s. 

Scorpius had a kind of bravery that was all his own, as well. It was in the way he carried himself: he was prideful, but not arrogant; self-assured, but not blinded; confident, but not pompous. 

When Albus had asked Scorpius how he managed it, at first Scorpius had been confused, but when he’d realized what Albus meant, he’d told him, “It’s something my father taught me. He said that after the war, when Lord Voldy was defeated and Grandfather lost everything, he became an empty shell of a person. Cruel, violent, and spiteful. And Grandmother spent the next few years trying to contain him, until the moment she couldn’t anymore, and he gave up on life. Father said he’d never imagined he’d see Grandfather so defeated.” 

“What happened then?” Albus had asked when Scorpius paused, knowing that couldn’t possibly be the end of the story. 

“Then he met my mother.” the smile that graced Scorpius’s face every time he spoke of his mother was bright enough to drive out the midnight shadows of the Dungeons, and Albus loved to see it, “And he says she taught him an important lesson: they can take everything you have, your power, your influence, your money and your name. But they can only break your spirit if you let them.” 

Albus had felt the dots connecting, “And so, your father chose not to break.” 

Scorpius had nodded. Then, his eyes had filled with a determination that could move mountains and cure Dragonpox, and said, “And I won’t break either.” 

It was an admirable notion. And one to which Scorpius was very dedicated. So much so that before Albus’s very eyes, Scorpius retrieved their list and, that night, added a second point: 

_**2)Remain Confident and Unaffected.** As long as we hold our heads high and refuse to accept their cruelty, they will never win.  _

However, the both of them quickly discovered that there was nothing that infuriated bullies more than unshakeable confidence and optimism. 

Usually, when someone fired a particularly nasty insult or hex their way, Albus would react with anger. Carefully contained anger, but anger nonetheless. He would glare, threaten them with his eyes. While this both stopped them in the short run and encouraged them to continue in the long run, it didn’t invoke immediate action the way Scorpius’s reaction did. 

You see, anger was the reaction they  _ wanted.  _ To the Gryffindors in their year, it meant they were getting what they wanted. It was what they understood. 

Scorpius’s unshakeability, however, unnerved them. They misconstrued his confidence as arrogance, his optimism as defiance. And when Gryffindors felt unnerved, they attacked, which was something that Albus was very,  _ very  _ aware of. 

It was also something that Scorpius simply couldn’t understand. He hadn’t grown up with people who automatically took the emotion you showed on your face as the truth the way that Albus had. He couldn’t understand that when he showed no anger, his classmates assumed that he  _ felt  _ no anger, and that just made them want to push harder. 

Albus thought it was a combination of this and pure, innate, stubbornness that caused their next problem. 

You see, at the core of his identity, Scorpius was a nerd. Albus understood this, and that was why he never tried to distract his friend in class, or draw him into discussion when he was doing his homework. Albus understood that -- on a fundamental level -- to do so would be seen by Scorpius as a betrayal, and Albus wouldn’t do that in a million years. 

Scorpius was also the kind of nerd who very much resented being forced to sit in the back of every single class. After all, it was so much harder to see the board and pay attention when there were masses of students between him and the professor. 

Albus both understood this and sympathized, but he just couldn’t give his consent to being pelted by salamander blood and toad hearts by the vialfull in Potions, and hexed behind his back in Charms. 

However, there was one class on which Scorpius refused to budge, and that was History of Magic. On the first day, as Albus had automatically headed toward the back row and Scorpius had gone to the front, they’d ended up locking eyes in a wordless struggle that Scorpius had won only through passion for his stance: this was his favorite class, and he would be damned if he let some stupid bullies force him to the back of the room. 

And so, Albus had gone with great reluctance to the very front and center seats in the classroom, and had sat down. To Albus, this was ridiculous: literally  _ no one  _ else even sat in the front row, and there were perfectly good seats open in the back right corner. 

But, regardless, Albus found himself walking to the front of the room every single day, because if it was important to Scorpius, then it was important to him. 

However, as the two of them got less and less popular, and the Gryffindors in the room got more and more frustrated with Scorpius’s confident act, Albus found out that the front row could be misery even without spells or potions ingredients. That misery came in the form of whispers, malicious laughter, and pointed stares. It was almost as if Albus could feel them behind him, plotting his demise. 

One day in November, Albus and Scorpius were walking from lunch to History of Magic, and Scorpius was chatting nervously about an exam they had in the subject that day, when Albus decided to try his luck. “Since there’s a test today, anyway,” He interrupted his friend, who dutifully fell silent as Albus spoke, “maybe we should sit in the back today. There’ll be less distractions, and we’ll surely get better grades.” 

He felt a bit guilty about appealing to Scorpius’s desire to be a successful student for selfish reasons, but he didn’t think he could survive much longer in the front of that class. But Albus needn’t have worried; Scorpius suspected nothing, but he shook his head regardless. “Albus, if we sit in the back now, it’ll be the same as letting them win. I can’t let them take this away from me as well.” 

It was what Albus expected, and there was no way to argue with it. It was important to Scorpius, so it was important to Albus. Even if it drove him mad. He forced a smile and said, “You’re right. Don’t know what I was thinking.” 

Scorpius gave him a concerned and disbelieving glance, but when Albus offered no further explanation, he launched back to his worries about the exam itself. Albus himself wasn’t very worried, and especially not about Scorpius. He was pretty sure the only reason he was passing the class was that Scorpius talked about Magical History recreationally, and his genuine enthusiasm drew Albus in so much that he couldn’t help but learn. The way his friend’s eyes lit up when he talked about history was -- there was no other word to describe it -- beautiful. 

Which was why Albus was so determined to give Scorpius this one victory. But he hadn’t been kidding when he said he wouldn’t be able to focus on the test in the front of the class. 

The moment they walked to the front and sat, Albus could swear he felt the eyes of every student in the room. As Professor Binns wordlessly passed out the exam, Albus began to sweat. A day with a test was always worse than any other day. The room was dead silent, except for a few whispers, all of which Albus assumed were about himself and Scorpius, and it didn’t help that he was too distracted to focus on the test and ended up being one of the last people to turn it in. 

By the time the class was almost over and Albus still had two questions left, Scorpius was writing his Potions essay, his ankle hooked casually over the leg of Albus’s chair and his left hand in his hair, bouncing the way he always did when he concentrated, and the rest of the class was chatting idly, giggling and making noise, and Albus knew it was irrational, but he could’ve sworn it was all about him. 

Albus was sure most of the class had far more interesting topics to discuss than him and Scorpius, but it certainly didn’t help matters that the two Gryffindors behind them were most certainly,  _ actually  _ talking about them. Because Albus could hear them, and somehow couldn’t stop himself from listening in on their conversation. 

It was after yet another comment about how Albus certainly hadn’t inherited his father’s intelligence, which was ridiculous because his father wasn’t any good at History of Magic in the  _ first  _ place, that Albus finally snapped. He pushed back his chair abruptly, which caused Scorpius to snap his head up to stare with wide eyes as Albus turned in his test, glared at the Gryffindors with enough venom to cow them considerably, and stormed out of the classroom. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Albus left, Scorpius stared for only a moment, before anxiety took over and he packed up his stuff as quickly as possibly and chased after Albus to the snickers of everyone in the room, which he blithely ignored. 

By the time Scorpius made it out of the classroom, Albus was already halfway down the hallway. Scorpius chased after him in confusion, wondering what could possibly have inspired such a reaction in his fiery best friend, and said, when he caught up, “Test go that badly?” mostly because he could think of nothing else to say. 

Albus said nothing, only started walking even faster. Scorpius, a bit insulted and even more confused, stopped in place and said, “Albus, rule number one.” 

At that, Albus stopped in place, turned around, and Scorpius immediately recognized all the signs of an impending panic attack that only someone who has experienced several can pick up on. In a second, however, Albus found an unconvincing smile for his best friend and said, “Sorry. You’re right, I shouldn’t have--” 

Scorpius’s heart nearly broke at the effortless attempt to cover, and interrupted it with “Don’t even try. Come on.” 

Albus, astonished, merely followed as Scorpius walked up beside him and made sure their arms brushed together as they walked back to their Common Room. 

Scorpius liked to think he was an expert in the field of anxiety, and knew exactly the cure for this. He led Albus directly to their dorm without stopping to speak to anyone on the way, then straight to Albus’s bed, where he indicated that Albus should sit, then ordered him to move over, claimed a spot beside him, and closed the curtains. 

Quietly, Scorpius cast  _ lumos  _ and placed his wand at the foot of the bed and leaned back. After a moment, Albus leaned back beside him, and Scorpius waited until he could sense his friend calming down to ask, “What caused it? Was it the test?” 

After a moment, Albus shook his head, and Scorpius just waited. He knew Albus would explain when he was ready, and there wasn’t any sense in pushing. 

Eventually, Albus admitted, “You’ll think it’s silly.” 

Scorpius almost smiled as he shook his head. “I have panic attacks over the most ridiculous things that I swear to you, I will not.” 

One time he had knocked over a vase in his mother’s sitting room and had just sat there in a panic, eyes closed, heart racing, shaking like a leaf, unable to even check if it was broken. HIs mother had found him there, a few minutes later, and had picked him up muttering reassurances. Turns out the stupid vase hadn’t even been damaged at all, he’d just overreacted. Again. 

Scorpius was the  _ founder  _ of unnecessary panic. 

It only took Albus another moment and a search of Scorpius’s eyes before he admitted, “I… they were talking about me.” 

Scorpius was confused. “Who?” he asked, gently. 

“The Gryffindors behind us. And I somehow convinced myself that the entire class was talking about me, and that they were all laughing at me, and, I don’t know, it’s stupid…” Albus explained, not meeting Scorpius’s eyes. 

When Scorpius finally understood, he was almost shocked. He had known that Albus had a very different childhood than him, but it wasn’t until then that he realized just  _ how  _ different. Scorpius had grown up with whispers, with laughter. 

Subtle cruelty had followed him like a shadow since his birth. Quite frankly -- for better or for worse -- he was used to it. He suddenly saw things from Albus’s point of view: Albus’s family was practically worshipped by Wizarding Society. To go from that to  _ this  _ must’ve been… Scorpius couldn’t imagine how world shaking that would be. 

The thing was, Albus usually handled it so well that Scorpius hadn’t even  _ imagined  _ that something like this could have such an effect on him. But maybe, Scorpius realized, Albus’s anger was a mask just as much as Scorpius’s confidence was. 

Maybe Scorpius wasn’t the only one who felt like he was drowning sometimes and his only lifeline was the person sitting beside him. The only one who ever would. 

And, of course, that meant, “Sitting in the front of the class just makes it worse, doesn’t it?” 

Albus hesitated, then nodded. For a second Scorpius felt such guilt that he doubted he could contain it. “This has been going on all year?” 

Albus nodded again. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Scorpius simply couldn’t fathom it. 

Albus finally met Scorpius’s eyes, and the smile he gave him was genuine, Scorpius could tell. “It meant so bloody much to you that I couldn’t.” 

Scorpius let that sink in for a moment, then said, just a touch louder than he meant to, “And you didn’t think your  _ mental health  _ would mean more to me?”

Albus looked like he didn’t know how to answer, and Scorpius knew this was Albus’s moment to realize what Scorpius had realized when Albus had defended him from those Gryffindors in the hallway: when it came to Albus’s wellbeing, Scorpius was willing to make a million and one sacrifices, just as Albus was willing to do for Scorpius. 

After another second with no reply, Scorpius just shook his head and retrieved the list. When he took the quill and carefully crossed out the second rule he’d written earlier, and handed the list and quill to Albus, Albus looked as if he had no idea what to do with it. 

Scorpius smiled and said, “Aren’t you going to write your own?” 

Albus smiled at that, finally shaking off his disbelief, and wrote: 

**3) Keep Your Head Down.** Turns out that having principles is less important than getting through the day without being hexed. If we stay out of the way and avoid Gryffindor Tower like the plague we’ll be fine. 

When he was finished, Albus passed the list back to Scorpius, who read what Albus had written and smiled. If keeping their heads down was what would make Albus feel better, Scorpius was more than willing to comply. After all, Albus had already made sacrifices for him, it was only right that Scorpius make a few in return. 

Scorpius looked up at his best friend -- who looked a bit nervous for Scorpius’s reaction -- and said, “Guess we need new seats in History of Magic, then.” 

At that, Albus smiled in relief, and Scorpius knew he would make a million compromises to keep that smile right where it belonged. 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments make my day! :)


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